Rewind & Change
by Genessis Mendez
Summary: What would have happen if Rose would have been able to see the Academy's attack before it happened but been unable to do anything about it as she had the vision? Would she have been able to save everyone if given the chance? Full summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

_Rewind & Change_

_Rose had just lost her virginity to the man she loved, in a cabin nonetheless, and then she finds herself out of her body. In this out of body experience she sees the most tragic thing. The Academy is attacked, her body is running around risking her life and Dimitri's when she decides to go on that rescue mission, which is suicidal. She realizes all the mistakes she's made her whole life, which is to protect Moroi who do not think twice to risk a Damphir's life for theirs and her best friend refuses to heal Guardian Belikov if he is alive. All of this upsets her greatly. What would she have done differently if she'd been warned about this attack? And will she be able to save everyone when she's suddenly given the opportunity to go back in time to warn them about the attack, or will she choose the wrong moment and face worse consequences?_

_I'm co-writing it with Talkygirl, she's awesome. Next is her summary:_

_Everything's the same as the first three books but things could change, right? Can the past be switched, What if Rose is given the chance? What would she change? Are the ghosts on her side? Will anything more happen? Will things be left behind when the wind might have just settled? Love, war, friendship and lives are at stake. New gifts will be awarding and blindness will take effect. Are you interested on going on the journey with us? Read more later on._

_I know that you might be getting tired of me talking and writing about Shadow Kiss and all but I just had this amazing idea and decided to write it. Is better than it sounds. I'll post it ASAP and this was just something for y'all to read and see what this is about._


	2. Realized

Chapter1

"Rose, listen to me. Run. Run as fast and hard as you can back to your dorm. Tell the guardians."

"The Strigoi killed some Moroi and Damphirs. And some… some they carried away."

"Rose, about what happened—"

"I knew it. I knew this was going to happen"

"You're worth it, believe me"

"Start retreating!"

"What are you doing Rose? More are coming!"

"He's in there!"

"He can't be. You don't understand… I think he was just injured. Probably badly, But if you're there when they bring him back, you can heal him…"

I remembered all of it, every single painful moment. I wished I was dead, was I? Everything had gone wrong and now I'd been forced to watch it… from the cabin to the end. There's nothing I could do but follow myself as I signed Dimitri's death sentence and my own. I'd tried to stop it but it had been in vain. Nobody had been able to see or hear me and my body did stupid thing.

Now I realize how stupid I'd been thinking that Lissa was my best friend, or that she even cared for me the same way I cared for her. She'd refused to heal Dimitri and I was willing to risk my life for hers? Every single Moroi thought of us as replaceable. We were nothing more than that. Lissa couldn't have saved him, I knew that, my body didn't, but still, the least Lissa could have done was agree to it. Humor me. She didn't and instead told me from the start that no matter what she wouldn't be used like that. But what about me and my happiness? I'd always put her above everything else, including Dimitri.

I'd been the one being used, not her and if she had the ability to heal others why not use it with the person I loved the most?

She wasn't the only one who had made me realize my errors. My own actions, or my body's that had been running around causing problems, had lead me to the conclusion that my whole life I'd been making mistakes. The first one being Lissa's friend and thinking she really loved me like a sister. The second one being so dedicated to being a guardian, something that was a death sentence and not following my heart when I'd had the chance.

When I'd finally been with Dimitri and he'd said he loved me the morning after the attack I shouldn't have thought about anyone else but him and me. Instead of looking after myself and my love I'd gotten myself into more trouble when I told Dimitri and everyone else that we should go and rescue the kidnapped people. Dimitri had been hopeful and very distracted about us that he'd let his guard down when we'd been about to get out of the caves and he was dead because of me. First Mason and now him.

"_They're as good as dead"_ Christian had said, and he'd been right. I shouldn't have been so stupid and try to go after all those Moroi.

I wasn't saying that I regretted saving Eddie and the rest, just mad at the fact that nobody had wanted to go back and rescue Dimitri when it had been him and others that went there in the first place to rescue the stupid Moroi trapped there. My actions killed the only person that truly loved me. I should have thought before acting, like Dimitri always told me, but I didn't. I mean, I probably could have gone alone to the caves instead of telling the guardians of my knowledge, or simply keep that to myself. I would have been dead but Dimitri wouldn't. It didn't matter anymore though, there were no more 'what ifs' because at the end of the day I was to blame as much as the Moroi, if not more and everyone was already dead and lost.

I could have run in there and risk it, or die with him, instead I'd run like a coward. This reality, or nightmare, was my hell.

The moment I stepped out of the Academy, with Adrian's promise that he would give me money and after saying good bye to Lissa without any regret, everything around me began to swirl, as if I was inside a tornado or something like that. I panicked and looked around, trying to locate my body but I was alone here and in front of me I spotted Mason. He'd been the one who told my body about the caves and all that, even after I, the spirit one, had begged him to shut up.

He'd reminded me of what Rhonda had said, about Dimitri losing what he valued the most, and for a while I'd believed that she'd meant his life, that I would die with him too, until the caves when they said Dimitri was… missing. Mason had told me that this was how it was supposed to happen and that I could not stop it anymore. Now I was on a quest to find my one true love and kill him in order to fulfill our promise.

I never thought it would come down to this, otherwise I would have sent Lissa straight to hell and fight to be with Dimitri, even if it would be for a little period of time. Now, here I was, angry at Mason and angry at myself for being so stupid all this years.

"Mason, what do you want?" I said through clenched teeth, trying to keep my temper under control and the tears from falling.

Mason stood there, looking translucent and sad like the first time I saw him but this time he looked a little more alive, if there was such thing, "I'm sorry" He said, voice faint, and I was taken back. I'd expected him not to answer me and he had.

"Why are you still here? Have you not had enough fun seeing me suffer? Are you happy now that I don't have Dimitri, that he's dead just like you? I bet you just stayed here to watch me suffer like you did when you died but I want you to know that if that was your purpose then you succeeded." I laughed bitterly, some tears rolling down my face. "Congratulations! You must be very proud of yourself, or at least better."

He didn't laugh, he just looked at me with those fathomless eyes that gave me chills and when he spoke, his voice was even sadder than before, "I'm not happy Rose, and I don't blame you for my death. I chose to go back and save you, if someone is to blame is me, not you. I loved you Rose, so much that I was willing to risk my life for you and I'm not enjoying myself over what happened to Guardian Belikov, on the contrary, I'm sorry. I only lingered here to let you know that and that…" He hesitated, looked away and seemed to gather his thoughts. When he looked back his face was expressionless. "… that if you want you can change everything." I opened my mouth to protest but he raised his hand and stopped me. "Before you make a choice I want to show you something. Look." He pointed behind me and I turned around.

There was some sort of screen, though it really wasn't, it was more like a window that showed me images. It was me, walking strange streets and meeting a family that I soon recognized as Dimitri's. All of the faces resembled each other and there was a gathering in which everyone spoke of Dimitri. Then I was killing Strigoi. I found Dimitri and he kidnapped me, even used me as a bloodwhore, which made me flinch. What hurt me the most was seeing him as a Strigoi, an evil being who seemed to have no care for anyone but himself. He proved that whenever he said that he 'wanted' me rather than loved me. I cried harder when I saw myself staking him and him falling down. Back at the Academy and talking with Alberta I was surprised to see that she'd figured out my relationship with Dimitri. Then the Stake and note from Dimitri that said that he was alive and coming for me. All that hurt me because I knew it was my fault he was Strigoi in the first place.

I had no idea what had happened, if this was real or not, perhaps I was still in Dimitri's arms in the cabin and having this horrible nightmare, but that was highly unlikely. This seemed so real and the fact that I'd just seen the future made things even more unbelievable. What had I done to deserve such cruel treatment?

"Is this really real?" I asked him, trying to fight back sobs.

He nodded, "As real as you and me. However, this is only a possibility because you can choose to let all of this happen or… you can choose to change what just happened at the Academy and perhaps save yourself and those who died tonight." I gaped at him and then I realized what a great opportunity he was offering me. I could save Dimitri from becoming Strigoi and have a happy ending.

"I can do that?"

"Yes, but you must choose wisely the moment that you want to go back to, otherwise the outcome could be worse." He said and then I realized that he was beginning to fade.

"Wait, how do I do that? Don't leave me yet!" I begged but he was still fading.

He smiled at me and for the first time since I saw him as a ghost he seemed truly amused. "I'll always be there for you Rose, I swear, but you must hurry. Close your eyes and picture the moment you want to go back to. Now!" I wanted to apologize to him and thank him for what he was doing for me, but he was getting fainter by the moment so I closed my eyes and pictured it.

Next thing I knew I was on top of something warm. I opened my eyes and all I could see was Dimitri. Although there was people clapping and screaming good job, I couldn't have cared less because he was alive and well. He was on the ground with me straddling him. Well look who's the damsel in distress now, I mused. We were both sweaty and breathing hard and looking into each other's eyes. His eyes were full of pride for the fact that I'd defeated him and just like that first time I would have given anything to just wrap up my arms around him, his expression showed the same. We both yearned for each other when a hand dropped down, interrupting our moment. I was about to turn around and land a punch, afraid that it was a Strigoi but then I remembered that in this moment we were still safe.

We both sprang apart when another round of clapping erupted. Jean and Yuri congratulated me and scolded Dean. Dimitri said something about being taken down by his student but all I could think about was what the hell happened? Or, how the hell had this happened? I'd been watching from the side lines as a ghost then pulled back. Did the heavens wished to give me a second chance or was this like a power from shadow kissed? It never happened before then… that must mean… Oh my god I have to warn the guardians!

But I knew they wouldn't believe me if I just began to scream like crazy that the school was being attacked, at least not after what had happened before when I freaked after I saw Mason and let Christian get 'killed' by one of the teachers who pretended to be Strigoi. Hell, Dimitri barely believed me about the whole ghost thing. How would everyone else react if I told them? Worse, I was sure. Well, it looked like I was going to have to do this alone and I already had a plan that I hoped would work.

I could have my happy ending now…

"You can, but be careful," I heard Mason's voice and I turned around to see my friend watching me from afar. I was wondering how it was possible that I could hear him as if he was next to me when he was so far away.

"Rose, I'm so proud of you!" Lissa's excited voice made me angry for some reason and I was barely able to contain myself from snapping at her. She took me by the arm and began leading me away, not caring that I was all muddy and dirty, and I only gave her a small smile. "I can't believe you defeated guardian Belikov, it was amazing!"

"Me neither," I answered bluntly.

I looked around trying to spot Mason again but instead I met Dimitri's eyes and like the first time I wished to talk to him, except that now I had something important to do in order to save us both. I could talk to him later when I was sure that everything would be ok. But this time he didn't follow the guardians like he'd done the first time and I worried that something was wrong. Up until now things had been good, Lissa was proud and I was about to leave, Dimitri was not supposed to follow me.

"C'mon Lissa, I gotta go change, please come with me." I said, my voice harsher than I'd intended. She looked puzzled and thought she'd said something wrong that made me mad, if only she knew. But I wasn't going to let Lissa out of my sight, she'd been beaten by Jesse and Ralf right after I'd left and this time I would do whatever it took to keep that from happening. Mainly because thanks to those assholes the Academy had been attacked. I made a mental note to take care of them and warn them that if they ever practiced their stupid magic they wouldn't live long enough to enjoy their so called glory for forming that stupid little group when I was done with them.

I began to walk faster when I saw that Dimitri was following us after I turned around and saw the puzzlement in his face when I didn't stop. He'd noticed I'd seen him and probably wondered why I didn't stop. I wanted to, really, but he wasn't supposed to follow me.

"Rose, is there something wrong? Why are we running?" I hadn't noticed we were running but I still didn't stop.

"Just follow me," I answered.

"Rose! Wait!" We both heard Dimitri's shout and I refused to stop.

"Rose, that's guardian Belikov. He wants to talk to you. Stop." Lissa chastised, pulling away and making me stop.

Dimitri caught up with us before I could snap at Lissa and he looked just as concerned as Lissa. I gritted my teeth together, angry that they were worrying about me when it was them that were in danger.

"Rose, may I speak with you?" Dimitri asked, using his mentor voice but in his eyes I could see that whatever he was going to say it wasn't exactly school related.

I looked at Lissa, she didn't suspect anything and only thought that he wanted to congratulate me or something. Naïve. "I have to go change and then have dinner. I can't." Dimitri looked slightly taken back, Lissa was shocked, but he masked it quickly, though not before I saw hurt flash across his beautiful face. Had it been in other circumstance I would have jumped right up at the first opportunity to spend some time with him, but I was determined to save us both before it was too late. I'd probably already wasted enough time just by stopping to talk to him.

**ok, so I hope y'all like this chapter I worked on it very hard to make it good so I hope you leave lots of reviews. For those of you who are confused about what just happened let me tell you that Rose had some sort of out of body experience and she just saw the attack to the Academy happen. she's telling what she felt and all that in this chapter. Originally this was longer and Rose was actually thinking and talking as things happened since she was out of the cabin and walking with Dimitri when she realized she was out of her body. she could not be heard by anyone around her. Because it was too long and all that Talky Girl edited it, but then it was too short, so I added more stuff from the original document and used her chapter. Anyways, if you are really confused and this doesn't help just email me and I'll gladly answer your questions. Thanks Talky Girl for her great additions to this chapter so it was better than before. Also, if you would like to read the longer stuff, just tell me and I'll post it in my blog so you can read it and all that. Just with the condition that after reading the original stuff you will leave a comment in my blog or here in FF to tell em what you thought about it.**

**I'm currently writing the second chapter for this story but I don't know how long it will take me to write it. I'll try to post it next week, that if i don't get too caught up reading Last Sacrifice when it arrives at my door! I'm sure y'all are just as excited and probably also ordered the book. :)**

**Review!**

**P.S. Thanks Talky Girl!**


	3. Room

Chapter2

"Rose, I need to talk to you," Dimitri repeated, this time his voice was harsher and if I had been any other student I would have been scared. As it was, Lissa flinched a little and even stepped away a little.

"I'll see you at dinner Rose," she said but I stopped her and made her face me.

"Wait, don't go alone." I looked around and spotted Eddie talking with some other people. "Eddie!" I shouted and he turned around. I motioned for him to come closer. I leaned closer to him and whispered in his ear, "Don't let Jesse and Ralf get anywhere near Lissa tonight, believe me when I tell you that they are a threat." I moved away quickly, knowing that he would start asking questions but I didn't have the time for that. "I'll see you guys later then,"

I turned around and began walking, knowing that Dimitri would follow me, and for a couple of moments he just followed me. I decided that I would give him time to think about what he wanted to say, so while he was thinking I tried to stay tuned to Lissa's head, just in case Ralf and Jesse decided to attack her like they'd done before and if they dared to do the same to her so help me god, I was not going to have mercy on them this time. Because of them the Academy had been attacked and now I was here to prevent it, they were not going to be the cause of my misery once again. They would die first.

Lissa was chatting happily with some other Moroi, happy and proud of me after I'd just kicked Dimitri's ass and there was no thought of anything else. I digged deeper into her mind to check if there was something else in there besides the bubbly feelings of joy I was getting and I found just a little darkness. Involuntarily I sucked it out of her head and a chill ran down my spine.

"Roza!" I blinked and found Dimitri standing in front of me, his face inches from mine and he looked angry, still there was concern. He was holding my upper arms and I was just staring at him, trying to decide what the hell was wrong now. I looked around and when I was sure there was no threat I returned my attention to Dimitri. But, boy, was I mad.

"What!" I exclaimed, trying to push him away from me by placing my hands on his chest but they burned like they always did whenever I touched him and it was very distracting when my whole body went on fire. Still, the anger inside of me was stronger than my feelings for him and I barely noticed the heat between us anymore.

Dimitri stared down at me, he seemed to be as frustrated as I was, "Roza," I barely cared about his stupid nickname but it still made me feel a little warm inside. "Talk to me, please, tell me what's wrong"

"I'm talking to you, asshole, what else do you want?" The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them and after I said them I regretted them. I'd just insulted Dimitri, big time, and I felt like I had been slapped. The anger receded slowly, just as Dimitri's face went blank and he stepped away from me, and I knew I'd hurt him a lot.

"Dimitri I—" But he shook his head.

"Rose, I'm sorry if I bothered you, go back with the others now." He turned around and began walking away from me. But I wasn't about to let him go like this, hurt and alone when the Academy could be attacked again at any given time. I had the bad feeling that even if Lissa was alright, things would get as ugly.

I ran after him and grabbed his arm, ready to apologize and beg if necessary, anything to make him forgive me for my stupid, idiotic slip, but instead of his warm skin, my hand felt as if it was on fire a moment before everything went black. Well, it didn't turn black, I was still conscious, but everything around me was dark. Once again, I felt like I was watching a movie and Dimitri was in it. He was walking at the edge of the woods and everything was dark around him. Dimitri was distracted, pacing back and forth, running a hand through his hair and murmuring something in Russian that I didn't understand and suddenly, just like that, he was surrounded by red eyes that glowed in the dark.

Still, he hadn't realized it and a moment later all of them attacked at the same time. By the time he reacted it was too late and he was barely able to take out his stake before he was attacked from every possible angle by a herd of Strigoi. He tried to fight them off and I could see the determination in his face to kill them all, though he knew that they were too many for him. I could almost read his mind but I didn't need to be able to know that he was thinking that if he was going to die then he was going to take down as many Strigoi as he could first. The fight didn't last more than two or three minutes and I saw how he received many deadly hits, each one of them weakening him more and more until one of the Strigoi managed to pin him down and bite into his neck.

I began to scream my head off as I watched Dimitri's life fading from his eyes. This was almost as bad as the first time I watched him die in the caves, except that this time I was closer and able to see him actually die, which was worse.

Fortunately, I was brought back to reality, or something close to it. There was nothing but darkness surrounding me and Mason, wait what was he doing here? Suddenly a thought occurred to me and I panicked. Was I dead?

"Where am I?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"The back of your mind, you collapsed and pulled me in with you. I guess you thought I could help you." He said. "I don't know if I can, though. I can only tell you to be careful when you do this again."

"Do what? What just happened? Is Dimitri alright? Please tell me he isn't dead like I just saw!" I felt like crying again and my heart was racing just thinking of Dimitri as dead. He could not be dead. I couldn't have failed again.

"You had a vision of the future, I guess that bringing you back here altered something within you and now you can have glimpses of the outcomes of the actions from people around you." He paused and seemed to think about his next words. "Perhaps… what did you do to trigger it?

I gaped at him. That's everything I was able to do at them moment. There was no way he just said that, perhaps this time I was truly dead, or hallucincating. He couldn't be implying that I could see the freaking future now. Being shadow kissed was enough for me, I couldn't deal with one more responsibility, it was just too much.

"You gotta be kidding me, Mason please tell me that this is a bad dream." I sighed and tried to breathe through the panic that was swelling in my chest. This was just getting better and better. It had already been too much for one night, I couldn't handle this anymore.

"I'm not kidding. Actually, right now you are just as tired as your body is and I'm guessing you'll sleep for a while to get your strength back." He was still faint but this time there wasn't as much sadness in his face as before, which, incredibly, made me feel a little better. I still had a weak spot for him.

"Mason, this is too much, help me. I can't take this… I… take it back. Take this thing back and let me be my old self again." I pleaded, thinking that if he could bring me back in time then perhaps he could make me normal again, or as normal as I had been.

Mason sighed sadly, " I can't take it back Rose, I didn't give this to you. But, I can try to help you as much as I can." He offered, unfortunately that wasn't enough for me.

"You're going to help me?" I burst. "I don't need that kind of help, I need the kind of help that will take away this visions. I have too much in my plate already and this will just drive me crazy."

"If I try to take it back, bad things could happen. Be careful I can't steer you into the right place, only your visions will, but I'll be watching." What does that mean?, I asked my self and got my answer when he began to fade away once again.

"Mason!" I said but it was too late, he was gone.

"Rose, come on wake up" said Dimitri. Wait Dimitri?

My eyes shot open and I the first thing I saw were pair of chocolate brown eyes. I knew this was Dimitri, his voice gave him away first, and I was so glad that he was ok that I threw my arms around his neck, taking comfort in his warmth. I realized my mistake a moment later when someone cleared his/her throat and I let go of him immediately.

I looked around and recognized the dull familiar walls of the clinic. I felt trapped, the only comfort was knowing that Dimitri was here. Machines were beeping taking my vitals.

"You're awake," breathed Dimitri, relieved obvious in his voice.

"Yes, but… what happened?" I had one of the worst headaches ever, not mention that I was starving and the fact that I'd woken up in the clinic just made things worse. This place was one of the places I hated the most, mainly because I almost had a room reserved for me from all the times I'd been brought in here and the fact that Alberta and Kirova were here, watching me like hawks, made things worse. I half expected them to chastise me about hugging Dimitri like he was something other than my mentor.

Dimitri glanced behind him briefly, warning me not to do that again because we were not alone and then answered. "You collapsed while we were…" He hesitated a second, knowing that our fight shouldn't be made public, "talking and after a couple seconds you stopped breathing. I gave you CPR and then ran you here. You were out for a couple hours." CPR? He kissed me while I was out? I shouldn't have… wait, the vision. I remembered everything then. I'd been walking with Dimitri and after I insulted him I tried to apologize. But the moment my hand made contact with his arm I had that horrible vision and then I'd talked to Mason. This wasn't good. I was supposed to be trying to change things so that nothing would happen to the people I cared about, instead I'd ended up in this hellhole. Way to go.

"What," I yelled, sitting up. I realized my mistake when suddenly I saw colorful spots in my field of vision and I got so dizzy that I fell back against the pillow. Crap, I hated feeling like this.

"When can I get the hell out of here?" I asked the minute everything settled into place and Dimitri's face came back into focus.

Someone chuckled, I wasn't sure who but I was going to get back at that person the moment I was strong enough. "Rose, you can't even sit up and you're already thinking about leaving." So it had been Dimitri.

I turned to him with a glared. "Yes, I want to leave. Now." I sat up slowly this time but Dimitri stopped me from getting up and instead arranged my pillows so I could stay seated rather that lying down.

"Rose, you are in no condition to leave. You fainted and stopped breathing for a couple of minutes, we have no idea what that caused." Alberta cut in harshly.

"I don't care," I huffed.

Just then Dr. Olendski entered the room, looking as neat and calm as ever, she even offered me a smile.

However, it was Dimitri who spoke first. "How is she?"

"She's okay," said Olendski "I would like to keep you here overnight to make sure you don't collapse again." Her answered was brief but it made me angry all over again.

"I'm not staying here, I have better things to do than stay here, let's say… I don't know… guard Christian?" At that Dimitri stiffened and even took a step away from me. I instantly knew they were going to deliver bad news.

"Rose," Kirova began, her voice neutral. "You are no longer part of the field experience, not after what just happened." She didn't bother to elaborate and left just like that before I could do so much as open my mouth to speak.

"I—I'm not staying here and much less I'm I out of the field experience!" I exclaimed, infuriated. I turned to Dimitri for help. "Dimitri, please…"

He shook his head, "I agree with Headmistress that you should stay out of the field experience, at least until you are better." He said, his voice back to being mentorish.

"What? Dimitri…"

"Be grateful we're letting you continue with your trainings and school, I still think we should cancel your trainings but guardian Belikov insisted they should continue if you're not going to be practicing." She sighed and then left without anything else, leaving me even angrier. Nobody was letting me finish my sentences.

I turned to Dimitri, who was now sitting on a chair next to my bed. He was rubbing his temples with his hands and looking tired. "Rose, I know there's more to it than whatever they might think. Tell me what's wrong, please, I can't stand not knowing what's wrong with you." I was about to tell him that everything was fine and that he shouldn't worry when I remembered what he'd said in the future while we'd been walking outside. He'd said that he'd been worried sick about me even before darkness took the best of me and I decided to tell him at least a little. I hated to have him worry about me.

"I saw Mason again and it wasn't exactly here." I looked down at my lap as I spoke, not wanting to meet his eyes, afraid to see him looking at me like I was crazy.

"Roza," He breathed, "you have been under a lot of stress lately…" I cut him off.

"Don't you dare use that line on me Dimitri Belikov! I swear to god, I'm not crazy, ok? I know what I saw and thanks to me you…" I shut up when I realized that I'd been about to tell him about my vision of the future, that would definitely make him think I was crazy. "…I… I think you should go. I'm fine Dimitri, I promise."

"I'm not leaving here until you tell me what happened. I heard your scream the moment you touched my arm and I thought you were being murdered or something like that from the way you almost destroyed your vocal cords." It was true, my throat did hurt. "You saw something and I'm sure not even Mason would have scared you that much." He'd accepted as a possibility I'd seen Mason, still the fact that he'd even mentioned him made me question whether or not he was only amusing me to get the truth out of me. "Roza, tell me what has frightened you so much. You know you can trust me." He sat next to me on my bed and made me look at him by placing his thumb and forefinger on my chin.

I could barely think with him so close to me and his eyes were making me dizzy. Then my lips were attacked by his in one of the most amazing kisses. He must have really been worried or could have been just sexual frustration that he had been holding in. No one could resist me. I kissed him back and wrapped my arms around his neck in order to keep him as close to my body as possible. He deepened the kiss but too quickly he released me and leaned back, away from me. Our breathing was shallow and I wanted to taste more of his lips, to feel his hand on my bare back thanks to the stupid gown's opening on my back.

"Dimitri…" I sounded almost whiny.

"Tell me, what has you so scared." He said instead, pushing the matter and I gave in.

"I… saw you… dead." I watched as he quickly turned to me with a puzzled expression. "You were killed by Strigoi and I… it looked so real…"

**Many of you added me to your story alert thingy but didn't review and I thought none of you liked the story until I checked that. So, please review if you add me, I want to know if y'all like this story or not. You know I love reviews. Otherwise I'll have to postpone this story.**


	4. Not Yet

"Roza, I was with you… we were inside the wards…" I looked at him, panicked, I'd forgotten about the wards and all that. I was about to ask about it when the door burst open and in came Lissa followed by Adrian and my mother. If I hadn't known better I would have thought I was dead. It had been just weeks since I'd seen my mother and I hadn't expected another visit so soon. Why was she here?

"Rose, I'm so glad you're ok!" Lissa rushed to my side and hugged me but I barely registered that, my gaze was locked with my mom's.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." I said.

"I was worried, little dhampir, next time you decide to play dead at least don't really die" Adrian slurred but that wasn't what gave his drunk condition away, it was the fact that today he looked really bad. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair messy, not to mention his stagger.

"Adrian, next time you get the urge to get drunk, drink from the toilet. It will make you look just like now but without the bad hangover, perhaps it will only give you a stomach ache." I sounded all motherly-like, but with sarcasm.

"Rose!" My mother chastised.

I ignored that, "Okay so which one of you is going to help me break out of here? Oh and mom what exactly are you doing here?" I asked.

"First of all Rosemarie you are not breaking out of here and second I care about you enough to come and visit you." She sighed. " They called me here because of the Strigoi." She replied, knowing that I hated it when anyone called me Rosemarie but at this moment I didn't mind as much. What I really cared about was the fact that she mentioned something about the attack. I froze, how many had they taken this time?

"What attack?" My voice trembled as I said this and the stupid machines that I was hooked to, got louder and louder.

"Rose, calm down, it was nothing." Dimitri said, quickly moving to my side. I ignored him because I was recalling what I'd seen in the future, all those people dead, guardian and Strigoi alike, lying on the floor staring at nothing, no longer seeing.

"How many did they take? How many are dead?" I pulled away when Lissa tried to get a hold of my hand, through the bond I barely registered the hurt she felt by being rejected but it was nothing compared to my fear.

My mother moved from across the room to stand next to Dimitri and both of them kept me from getting up, "Answer me, how many?" I asked.

"Rose, there are no Strigoi here, someone called and said that there had recently been Strigoi around this area so they requested more guardians and my charge came here to visit. It's ok." Her voice was a little softer than usual, which made me feel like a little girl but her words did reassured me a little. At least nothing had happened to anyone.

Had I really prevented the attack? Were we safe now?

"Are you sure, nothing more?" this time my voice was stronger and they let go of me.

"Yes, Rose, I'm sure." She stepped away.

Dimitri, however, remained leaning closer to my bed.

"I need to get out of here," I said but they shook their heads.

"No," Dimitri answered, looking at me and his eyes said to let it go. I knew when I'd lost a battle, and this was one of those few times it happened, so I decided to do as he said.

With a sigh I said, "Can't I at least change clothes or something?"I ignored Lissa for a moment.

"Yes," Janine said. "I'll go by your room and bring you something later. Goodbye, Princess." She left just like that but at least this time she'd said goodbye, to Lissa not to me.

"I have to go now, Rose, I have class tomorrow." She sounded sad and the bond confirmed it. Before I could say anything else she hugged me tightly and left too. I felt bad now, but I could do nothing to make her feel better right now. Hell, I didn't feel good. I thought it was the darkness but nothing was there, so it meant it was only my fault. I was puzzled though, because it was only like 5:00. Maybe I could get Christian to go cheer her up, wouldn't be too hard, those two went at it like rabbits…

Next was Adrian "Well, Rose, I see your ok." He walked over to my bed and sat on the other side from where Dimitri was. Dimitri stiffened clearly and I looked between the two of them to realize that Adrian looked smug. He'd done that on purpose to piss off Dimitri. This was awkward, to be in the middle of two guys.

"Yes, I'm fine" I answered him with my normal voice after realizing that he had also seated there because he was truly concerned about me and not only to piss off someone. I relaxed a little. "Thanks for asking."

He reached to me and cupped my cheek, "I'm glad. I was so worried that I didn't realize how much I'd drunk until I was falling on my butt on my way here," I laughed at the thought of that and he smiled. I had to admit that I was rather surprised to see that, even if he was drunk, he looked really concerned and some of the playfulness in his face was gone. He was being serious.

"Lord Ivashkov, its past curfew, you should head back to your room." Said Dimitri, his voice sharp and chastising. I usually hated it when he used that tone with me. After all, I wasn't his normal student, but today that wasn't the reason why it bothered me. Adrian was being nice to me and not even flirting, on the contrary, he was trying to cheer me up, and Dimitri decided to lose his cool today? It was always him who chastised me about being rude, and now he was the one being rude.

Adrian tilted his head and smiled, "I'm not a student here guardian Belikov, I have no curfew." A tic worked on Dimitri's jaw and I half expected him to snap back. Instead his face went blank and any sign of hostility was erased, his guardian mask snapping back into place.

"I know, but I'm sure they also have visiting hours here at the clinic and I assure you that those hours are over." I stared at him in disbelief.

He did not just say that. I could see in his eyes that he was upset over the fact that Adrian was here. He'd always been this way with Adrian since he came to St. Vladimir to 'learn' more about spirit with Lissa after Spokane and they'd never been friendly. It was usually Dimitri the one who showed calmness in his dark eyes, never showing his dislike for Adrian who was a royal Moroi, also a snob most of the time, but today Dimitri seemed to be on edge. What was wrong with him?

"Guardian Belikov, that's none of your business," I said, trying not to flinch at my own words. I did want Dimitri to stay here with me and talk about the kiss, which had been really good, but I knew that if he stayed he would ask me more questions about what had happened to me and I wasn't ready to tell him about it yet. Mainly because I knew that he wouldn't believe me. Hell, I probably wouldn't believe anyone if they told me about something as crazy as what happened because you needed to experience it to understand. And I sure as hell understood now.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Adrian raise an eyebrow, probably surprised that I'd used such tone with Dimitri when most of the time I almost worshipped the ground where the man walked. But today, as much as it hurt, I needed Dimitri to stay away until I could find a way to explain things to him, which would take me some time.

Dimitri also looked slightly taken back at my tone. He probably thought I would back him up. I mean, it wasn't a secret that sometimes not even I could deal with Adrian's constant annoying presence and endless attempts to flirt with me, and today he seemed to be more concerned than in the mood to try something with me, which was good. But if he tried, even in my weakened condition, I was still able to throw a punch.

"You're right, it is none of my business but I'm sure the Doctor will mind." I clenched my hands into fists and, once again, had to fight to stay calm. He was getting on my nerves, and I couldn't bring myself to say anything nasty to him. After all, he was just worried about my health and I would need to be stupid not to appreciate that. Because I wasn't, I took a deep breath and dared to look at him in the eyes again.

"Dimitri, please, just let it go. I need to talk to Adrian, is urgent. I'll make sure he leaves as soon as we're done. Just give us a couple of minutes" My pleading didn't have the effect I'd hoped it would, instead, for a moment, his eyes flared with anger but it was gone as fast as it had come so I wasn't sure I'd really seen it. Perhaps I was truly losing it and now I was hallucinating.

"You have fifteen minutes before I go fetch the Doctor. You need to rest." Before I could thank him for understanding he turned around and walked out, closing the door behind him harder than necessary. It wasn't until then that I realized why he was being this way.

An image of what we'd done in the cabin and what he'd told me the day after the attack in my vision popped into my mind. He was jealous. How could I have been so stupid and not notice it? He loved me, he'd said so, even if that hadn't happened yet and he hadn't actually said it to me, it was normal for him to be jealous if I was willing to talk to Adrian and not him. Especially because Adrian wasn't one of Dimitri's favorite people in the world.

"Shit!" I murmured and hit my forehead with the heel of my hand. I wanted to bang my head against something else but right now my hand worked just fine. I'd acted like a bitch and even used a tone with Dimitri. I could only hope he would forgive me for this when I explained things to him, otherwise I would never forgive myself.

"Calm down, Rose, don't get all worked up. Clock is ticking and I have a feeling Belikov wasn't kidding when he said he would tell on us." Adrian said as he propped up his feet on my bed and leaned back against the chair with his arms behind his neck. In that position Adrian almost looked sober, or as sober as he could be still drunk, and back to his arrogant self. Almost.

"I know, but first I want to make sure you will not say anything until I'm done telling you and that you won't call me crazy." The seriousness in my voice and face must have told him that I wasn't kidding. He sat straighter and leaned closer to me again, looking curious.

"Rose, I can freaking walk dreams and I see people in all sorts of colors, I don't think it can get any crazier than that. Now, tell me what is wrong and I promise not to call you crazy. I've never thought that of you and never will." He took a deep breath and seemed to gather courage to say his next words. "Actually, you are one of the sanest people I've ever met and the fact that you deal with me… well, they should make you a saint." He gave me a real small smile but there was sadness in his eyes.

I gaped at him, unable to say anything. It was definitely the apocalypse if Adrian Ivashkov was saying something nice to me that didn't include flirting. He actually complimented me. It was something I'd never expected. I mean, he had his moments in which he actually acted the way he was supposed to and all that but this was definitely… rare.

"Hmm, well, thank you." I said uncomfortably, not knowing what else to say. This was just getting weirder and weirder and I didn't need more weirdness right now, it was the least thing I needed right now actually.

Adrian laughed, going back to his old self and the moment was lost. It was a good thing actually, because I could deal with good ol' and drunk Adrian, he was much more predictable. "You seem surprised to hear me say that."

"I am, but I'm sure you will change your mind about me after I tell you what I've just been through. It was as stupid and cliché as those Lifetime movies, probably even worse." He wrinkled his nose as if the thought disgusted him.

"I hate those movies. They always try to teach morals and all that." I rolled my eyes. It was so typical of Adrian to hate something that was actually good for him. But I couldn't believe he didn't like those movies. I always liked to watch them, even if sometimes stuff that happened there was actually impossible or simply retarded. Still, who was I to judge that kind of stuff? I lived among Vampires, kind of was one myself, could see ghosts and had just had something unbelievable happen to me.

Ignoring his last comment I went on. "Anyways, Adrian I… I had a vision..." Adrian stayed silent as I told him everything that had happened. I started with the exact moment Dimitri and I first saw the Strigoi in the forest, telling the others about it and fighting them off. I skipped the bloody details of course, going to the moment when we went to the caves and fought the Strigoi, again, though this time he did flinch when I mentioned that we didn't make it this time. Again, I didn't go into details but by the look on his face I knew that he could imagine the rest and by the time I was done with it, his face had grown serious.

He looked grim. "Rose…" I cut him off.

"I know, I know but despite how it sounds, I think it was real. It felt real. I mean, I don't have that big of an imagination so I couldn't have possible made that up. Besides—"

"I believe you. It does sound weird but with all the spirit thing going on I can't dismiss this and if this really happened and you saw the future…" He got that 'unhinged' stare he sometimes fell into but then snapped back into reality. However, it wasn't before I noticed something wrong with him, while he'd been thinking about whatever, his face had shown such sadness and hopelessness that it reminded me of Lissa when she used to cut herself, something that only the side effects of Spirit could do to a person, in this case Adrian or Lissa. I got worried. "If you saw the future but you stopped it then… I wonder what will happen now."

To be honest, I hadn't thought about it that way. All I cared was the fact that I'd stopped the attack from happening and that things seemed to be alright now. I was ok with now as long as things went back to normal, even if it meant that Dimitri would be back to ignoring our love like he'd done for several months since we met. My only consolation was that at least he was alive and well, we all were, and I was ok with it. As it was, it turned out, I'd learned something from Dimitri, and that was to be patient. Although I wasn't that thrilled about it because right now I wanted to get up from this stupid bed and go after Dimitri to tell him that I loved him and perhaps even tell him the truth.

Problem right now was that I was a coward and didn't have the balls to do it without thinking about the possibility that Dimitri would call me crazy and rethink his love for me. He was one of the best things in my life and I didn't want to risk losing his respect, or his love. Damn, my life sucked.

"I don't know, but I hope that everything will be ok."

"I wish I could reassure you about that but… I have a feeling this isn't good. Just because something bad didn't happen doesn't mean something else won't happen. I mean…" He was cut off by Dr. Olendski entering the room. This time she did look a bit peeved at seeing Adrian still here and I had the feeling that Dimitri had not only pointed out the fact that Adrian still hadn't left but also the fact that I'd almost passed out again. I wanted to be mad, but the fact that he'd even bothered kind of made me feel like there was still hope and his love for me would make him ignore the fact that I was, maybe, a little crazy.

"Lord Ivashkov, I see you're still here. Do you not know that visiting hours are over? Guardian Belikov pointed out that he hasn't seen you leave and I came to tell you that you can go now." Adrian was not amused by this however and I knew he would argue, I could almost hear his nasty reply, so I placed my hand over his and shook my head.

"Adrian, it's ok. I have a feeling I'll be here a while and we can keep talking tomorrow." He still looked like he wanted to argue but I shot him a glare and he finally gave in.

"Fine, I'll leave and I will be back tomorrow," This last part was directed at the doctor who didn't take that kindly and huffed as Adrian left the room and she followed him.

When they were gone I looked around and sighed. This place felt cold and sterile, like something dead and I didn't like it. I leaned back against the pillows and tried to fall asleep. I found myself very tired and unable to keep my eyelids open, after a couple of minutes, I feel asleep, and I had to admit I was afraid. Not afraid of Strigoi, but of the nightmares I was sure I would have.

**Thanks for the reviews guys, I really appreciate it. Still, I would love it if all of you review and not only a few. I'm glad y'all enjoy this story as much as I do and will update as soon as Talky girl gives me her chapter. :) Love y'all! **

**P.S. For those of you who read Turning Point and are waiting on the sequel, I'm sorry but you'll have to wait a little longer. During Christmas Break I'll start writing and will probably post something the first week. Lovely Rose With Thorns will also be updated in that week and Even Obsession will have a new chapter, which I'm working on right now. Its easier to do it because I just began an outline plot for it today. **

**Happy Holidays! **


	5. AN

Author's Note

I posted the summary for Turning Point's sequel so y'all can go and tell me if you like it. Also, please review.

In other news-I know I sound like the news, all boring-Becky will post her story! It's Vampire Academy based but not with Rose. Becky and I talked about VA a lot and she came up with that story for VA. So, there's no Rose because we wanted to do something new. It's set with all of the characters but this new person is mostly like Dimitri. I mean, we already saw in VA that opposites attract, as is the case with R&D, but how do you deal with someone who is a lot like you? She will post it next week I think. IDk. I read the first couple of pages and its really good. I loved it. I hope y'all will be nice. I'll give you the link when she posts something. :)

Happy holidays and don't forget to review the sumary. The story is called Everlasting Love.

P.S. Don't review here. Go to Everlasting Love.


	6. Nightmare

As I got up I realized I was in my room but still in my clothes from the other day… someone must have moved me. My room was still the same with its barren walls. Only one picture hanging on the wall. It was of me and Lissa on Halloween. Glitter cluttered our faces and fairy costumes adorned our bodies. Dust was starting to accumulate everywhere else. Lissa, I guess, was trying to teach me the lesson of how to clean. It was a lost cause…

I wondered who put me in my own room or why no one was here to greet me. Sure Dimitri and I weren't in the best terms right, not after I practically chose Adrian instead of him. The cabin hadn't happened either like it was supposed to and we had a setback but he loved me right? At least they should have left a note or something and why was it so cold? Shivers ran down my body. Cool breezes were brushing me.

I looked over to the window, expecting to see it open. Except… it' wasn't open? My nose wrinkled with an awful smell as more wind blew past and I found myself on the quad. Bodies were lying everywhere. Bodies I knew. Eddie, Christian, Alberta, Stan, Lissa… Dimitri. I started screaming. I screamed for myself, unbelievably Stan, Christian, Eddie, my best friend but mostly for the love of my life. I hadn't been able to stop the attack. I'd made it worse for everyone else and now they were dead. Their ghosts started to close in on me; smothering me and trying to talk to me.

The thing with ghosts was that they seemed to be unable to speak with the living. None of my friends could murmur a word. But it wasn't necessary. Their sad, sad faces told me everything. They were all disappointed in me, as I was, but most of all they seemed to want something else. It didn't take a genius to know what it was once they all encircled me. They wanted me.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I tried. I tried so hard to change things!" Tears ran freely down my cheeks but they didn't seem to care. They kept closing in. I turned to Dimitri. Surely he wouldn't let them hurt me.

It was a mistake to look at him. The biggest mistake of my life. The image of his face was seared into my brain. His face was the saddest of all. His gorgeous serious face looked at me with such disappointment that it hurt me deeply. Everyone I'd known had looked at me the same at some point but it had never mattered to me. Ever. Now just by looking at him I wanted—needed—his approval. But how could I expect something like that when I'd killed him?

"Dimitri…"

He opened his mouth and pain crossed his features. I whimpered. Even dead I was still hurting him. I'd caused him such pain. It was like stabbing myself over and over again. It became too much for me.

Again, the ghosts smothered me and this time I couldn't take it anymore. I was to frightened. My body couldn't stop shaking and I closed my eyes, screaming louder for it to stop.

"Roza! Roza!" No, ghosts couldn't talk. This was a trick. Dimitri was dead and they were only torturing me more knowing that his nickname would bring even more guilt. I screamed. I was finally being punished for my agreement with almighty Mason. I wanted the darkness to swallow me whole and put an end to my misery.

"Rose, come on stop this…" this time it was not Dimitri or the undead people. It was Mason.

"Mason, please don't let them get any closer. Help me!"

"Rose, just wake up for real." After he said this he disappeared and I was left alone. I didn't know how to wake myself up.

Instead, light appeared all around me.

Strong, tanned arms enveloped me, shaking me and yelling at me. The world was blurry when I opened my eyes. The white and clean annoying walls were back. They were better than my room and they didn't start me out on a nightmare.

Dimitri. Yes, Dimitri. He stopped shaking me and hugged me. To say I was shocked was an understatement. The dream had been so real. It had _felt_ so real. I could barely believe that things were all right, that Dimitri was alive and well. So I hugged him like I did the first time I woke up here. My arms encircled his neck in a dead lock and I didn't want to let go of him. Not now, not ever.

And I cried and cried like a little girl against his shoulder.

I thought he would still be mad and leave me. He didn't even believe in the ghosts, which is why I decided not to say anything. I mean, how could I entrust him with one of my darkest secrets if I knew that if I told him about this nightmare and everything else then he wouldn't believe me—or worse, leave me. "Are you okay?"Concern laced his words. "I was so, so worried." His eyes showed fear and love and I hoped it wouldn't slip away if he ever learned the truth.

"_You shouldn't be. I'm fine."_ I wanted to say but nothing came out.

So instead I kissed him. The moment was too intense to ignore it. Surprisingly, he deepened the kiss without breaking away. Even I would love for Dimitri to keep revving me up but this couldn't happen now, or here. Moments later he broke it and we gasped for air, with foreheads smashed together. "Roza, please talk to me."

I tried to open my mouth and tell him that there was nothing wrong. But then I looked at him closely all the love and concern faded away. Instead, I saw his sad face—the same face of his ghost—and I panicked. He wanted to take me away. He hated me for having gotten him killed.

I began to cry and pushed him away from me. I was in hysterics, begging Dimitri to stay away and, surprisingly, he did. Dr. Olendski rushed in because my heart was desperately beating without a rest and I could barely breathe through my sobs. I looked back at Dimitri and the look of hurt and pain in his face hurt me just like it had before.

"Clam down…" how the hell was I supposed to calm down when fears were consuming my life! "Breathe, just breathe." How could she be saying these things?

I locked my gaze with Dimitri's but it only served to make want to cry more. I couldn't look at him in the eye knowing I'd killed him. I couldn't.

"I'm… sorry." I murmured over and over again between sobs. "Go away! Leave me alone!" I screamed when he took a step closer and scooted away from him. Dr. Olendski was now sitting on my bed, trying to calm me down. She was whispering soothing words and smoothing my hair back away from my face.

I saw Dimitri flinch. My words had clearly hurt him but the image of his ghostly self still haunted me. I couldn't tell the difference between himself and the ghost. Hell, I could barely see through my tear-filled eyes.

So I looked back at Dr. Olendski, "Make it… stop!" I begged her. "Stop it! I—I can't take it… anymore." I didn't know if she understood what I was saying with all the sobbing but apparently she did when she answered me.

"Rose, only you can make it stop." Her voice was gentle, understanding. "Try to breathe and focus on something and only look at it." I looked over at Dimitri again and flinched. He still looked sad and had that accusatory look on his face. It was my fault. I'd killed him…

These fears had to go back to being locked up in the back of my mind and into the tiny, imaginative safe. So I focused on him and Dr. Olendski's voice telling me to focus and take deep breaths. I closed my eyes and felt how, slowly, everything went back to normal. My breathing slowed down, along with my heart beat, and the sobs that had racked my body became soft whimpers.

Deep chocolate eyes consumed me as I open my eyes and stared at Dimitri standing at the other side of the room with his arms crossed over his chest. To anyone else he would have looked like a normal guardian—with a blank look on his face and menacing stance—but to me he looked hurt and concerned for me. He no longer looked like the ghost from my dream.

"Are you better?" without glancing away from Dimitri I nodded at the Dr. "Rose, look at me." I tore my eyes away from Dimitri and look at her. "Are you sure you're ok? What happened?"

I knew I couldn't say anything to her, much less in front of Dimitri. None of them would ever believe me and I'd probably just end up in a padded room, so I decided to tell them only part of it.

"I—I had a nightmare." She looked doubtful.

"Is that all?" She gave Dimitri a sideways glance, as if asking me if he had anything to do with it. "Are you sure that was it?"

I nodded. "A bad nightmare. It was nothing, really."

She tried to get more out of me but I refused to tell her more. Her intentions were good, I knew it, but she couldn't help me. I still needed to talk to Adrian but he was nowhere in sight and I didn't have his cell phone number to call him from here. I just hoped he was all right. I leaned back against the pillows and stared out the window waiting for Dimitri to come back because the Dr. had asked a word with him outside. At least I hoped he would come back. I would understand if he didn't, though it would hurt. But who was I to hurt him more than I'd already done. I'd just had a major breakdown and only because I'd confused reality with my nightmare.

I couldn't look at him in the eye when he came back. I knew he was sitting right next to me again, it was easy to tell because his spicy aftershave filled my nostrils.

"Dimitri what just happened?" I asked.

I heard him sigh. "I don't know."

We stayed in silent for the rest of the day until I couldn't take it anymore. I turned to him, my mind set on what I had to do to protect him, with an angry look that startled him. "Go." One word, one meaning behind it and he understood. He stood up, equally angry, and left. But not before I caught the look of pain in his expression.

Dimitri was good at masking his feelings from everyone but not from me. I understood him perfectly, better than anymore would ever do. Still, even if he could also read me, this time he hadn't. He'd just assumed I meant it and I couldn't decide whether that was a good thing or not.

I stared at the door long after he left. Waiting. Waiting. Hoping that any minute he would come back. He didn't.

"Rose?" I blinked and realized that my mother was in the room. I hadn't seen her coming in even though I'd been staring at the door.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" I sat up and offered her a small smile.

Surprisingly, she returned the smile and sat where Dimitri had been.

"I came to bring you clothes." She placed them on my lap. "I would have come in sooner but…"

"It doesn't matter, I'm glad you're here." I reached out to her and grabbed her hand. She seemed as surprised as I was for this gesture. But I realized that it was true.

Janine had been there for me after Mason's death, and wanted to patch up our deteriorated relationship, but some part of me had doubted that would be possible. Today, I knew it was. She was my mother after all, and I needed her.

We talked for a while, random topics, and I liked her company. She wasn't as bad as I'd thought. She was just… mom.

"How long are you staying?" I finally asked. During our conversation I'd meant to ask her that but I hadn't, afraid that she would leave too soon.

"I don't know. My charge might leave any day or stay here a while visiting." It was rather surprising to hear that she sounded regretful about having to leave.

"but where's Belikov? I told him this morning to come and keep you company for a while." So he hadn't some because he wanted. My mother had told him. It made me a little angry but I also knew that I shouldn't. It had been me who almost kicked him out yesterday because I wanted to talk to Adrian.

"He had to…uh… do something. I don't know. But he was here."

"Well, he could have at least waited for me to get here." She was slightly annoyed.

"Mom, it's ok. He's a guardian. He's got duties and more important things to do than baby sit his student." For some reason I'd become a masochistic and was stating the obvious and painful truth.

She was a little suspicious that I'd agreed with her but let it go and we continued our conversation. I just hoped she had let it go. Janine Hathaway, like me, almost never let anything go no matter how simple and little it was.

**sorry it took me so long to update. But I'm glad I did. This is Talkygirl's chapter. I added some stuff and edited it of course so you have both of us here. Hope you like it and review.**

**In other news, Becky published her story. I read the first chapter and it's really good. The name of the story is Rewritten and her FF name is Dimitri'sLover I think. Look it up. IT's really good. **

**Review!**


	7. Problem

One Week Later

"Rose, are you going to keep sulking or what?" Adrian made it sound like he was amused but underneath it all I knew he was really worried for me. Since I got out of the infirmary and back to classes two days after that, I hadn't done anything but sulk. I'd hurt Dimitri trying to save him and I couldn't just tell him. I was still afraid he would call me crazy and tell me to stay away from him or something like that. I loved him too much and wouldn't be able to stand it.

I sighed and rolled to my side to look at Adrian. We were on the floor, lying on a picnic blanket and simply 'relax'. It had been his idea to take some time off from school and all that before I started to train with Dimitri again tomorrow, but I was far from relaxed. Right now I just had too much time to think.

"Adrian, drop it." He opened one eye and smirked at me. "I'm serious. I don't want to talk about it."

He sighed frustrated and rolled to his side to face me too, "Little dhampir, are you trying to get the 'I'm stupid" award this year? Because if that's it then you already have it in your hands." I opened my mouth to protest but he went on. "Why haven't you told Lissa, or more important, Dimitri, about this little… gift of yours? Lissa won't look at you any different. Well, perhaps she'll avoid touching you. I mean, no one wants to know when they're going to die but…"

"Stop it. I told you I'm keeping this a secret." Then I closed my eyes again and used my arm as a pillow. "You know I can't just blurt out to her, or Dimitri, that not only I'm I the ghost whisperer—which is already freaky—but that I can also tell them when they're going to die. It's complicated."

Adrian raised an eyebrow. "And lying to them is good then? Lissa is worried about you. She even came and asked me what was wrong with you, thought it was because of the almost attack that you were shaken up and begged me to tell her the truth." Damn, that was no good. "You know how hard it is to deny something to my cousin but I did it for you, Little dhampir." He caressed the side of my face. "And I don't even want to start on how guardian Belikov is doing." He groaned as if the thought horrified him.

I knew all of that of course. Well, except the part where Lissa begged Adrian for answers. I knew she'd been worried about me all this time because I barely came out of my room and talked to people. She'd tried to help me and asked me many times what was wrong. But I always said it was nothing. I didn't want to let her know what had happened, not yet. I'd even gotten my grades up at school and I think even Stan was worried because I barely spoke in his class. He'd even tried to make me crack a joke the other day, which considering the many I'd said in the past and he'd been pissed was saying something.

However, the only one I kind of wanted to talk to me didn't even turn to look at me when I walked into a room he was in. Dimitri had been ignoring me for a while now since I told him to go that day at the infirmary. Thinking back I regretted treating him like that so much…

"I know, Adrian. I know. But what can I do?"

He laughed. "You're asking me? Me, who drinks and smokes and is corrupting you?" His response made me roll my eyes at him.

"Yes, oh, almighty Adrian. What does your spirit tells you I should do?"

His face turned serious. "It tells me that you should tell your friends the truth. They deserve to know what almost happened." I wasn't sure if I liked this side of him that seemed to have the answers but that I couldn't actually go ahead and do.

"Adrian!" I rolled onto my back again and once against concentrated on looking up at the sky. The stars were very bright and beautiful, but even they could distract me.

"Hey, you asked." He was right.

"Ok, let's say I tell them. Then what? Lissa is likely to accept it with no question. Christian will die from laughter and make my life miserable with his stupid jokes. Eddie is my friend and was also…" I hesitated, Adrian already knew about Mason but saying his name out loud still hurt. "well, Mason's friend so as much as it pains him or weirds him, he will be there for me. But Dimitri…"

Adrian sighed again. "Dimitri will be there for you too. Stop complicating things, Little Dhampir."

"I'm not! That's the thing, Adrian. He won't believe me, he'll think I'm crazy and… he won't believe me." I was about to burst into tears. Adrian sat up and motioned for me to do the same. When I did, he embraced me and I let him simply because it felt good. It wasn't the same as with Dimitri, I knew nothing would ever feel the same if it wasn't with him, but with Adrian it was just that, a hug. He was hugging me because we were friends.

"He will, I'm sure he will if you explain everything." His soothing words calmed me a little.

"I told him about the ghosts." I could almost see him arching an eyebrow. "In the future, I mean. I told him and that's how we discovered the caves where the Strigoi were holding their victims. We went outside and Mason told us. Dimitri didn't believe me at first and looked at me like I was crazy, or something similar, until I gave him proof. Then he believed me."

"See? He will believe you." I shook my head.

"He won't because I have no proof this time. Dimitri doesn't believe in what he can't see, he needs proof and I don't have it. I can't just go ahead and tell him about the vision I had when I passed out because he'll blame it on stress or something. He will find an excuse."

Adrian was silent for a while, just stroking my hair with his hand while the other remained around me. I couldn't help feeling this good with him because it was my friend. That's why it was so easy. With Dimitri it was complicated because I had strong feelings for him and all that. With Adrian it was easy, calm and relaxing because I knew that, even if he had feelings for me, or at least he thought he did, right now he was just being with me as a friend.

"Then give him proof." I was so startled that it took me a moment to understand what he meant.

"How? It's not like I can just say someone is going to die and let it happen. Or start talking to some unknown ghost and expect Dimitri to believe me without thinking I've lost my freaking mind." This was so hard. There was no way to win.

Adrian became thoughtful. "I didn't think that far ahead, Rose, that's up to you and come up with a plan. Perhaps if you let Lissa in on our secrets?" I bit my lip and contemplated the option. I hadn't thought about that one and I wanted to say yes so I had more people helping me other than Adrian—though he was of great emotional help—but part of me still resented Lissa for not helping Dimitri when I asked her to.

"No, I can't tell her either." I finally said and Adrian shook his head.

"You're making things hard for yourself."

An hour later I was walking back to my dorm holding my blanket and thinking about what Adrian had said. He had a point that Lissa probably would believe me and even help me think but I just… couldn't trust her with something as important as Dimitri. It hurt me to realize that not even my best friend could help on this one.

I missed Lissa a lot, mostly because the sorrow was eating me alive and I wanted her to know about Dimitri and me, if there had ever been an us, but while I wanted her to know the truth I also wanted to have him all for myself.

"You're so stupid," I murmured to myself under my breath.

"I beg your pardon?" Startled, I jumped a little and realized that it was only my mother.

"Nothing, I was talking to myself." I opened my door and we stepped inside.

My mom took the chair by the desk and turned it so it was facing me on the bed where I collapsed, tired.

"Should I be even more concerned about you now that you seemed to speak to yourself?" She was just teasing but the fear of being called crazy came back to me.

"No, I was just thinking and expressed my thoughts aloud." I sat up and forced s mile. "Nothing to worry about."

Mom didn't look convinced in the least and instead made an attempt to look at me with worried eyes. "Rose, there's a reason why I came." Oh, I already knew it wouldn't be good. "It's about the way you've been behaving lately."

"I'm ok, nothing to worry about." She went one like he didn't hear me.

"I honestly don't know why you freaked out so much about the Strigoi sightings or even knew when to ask, but I want to know if you're doing ok." I stared at her. Did she not hear me when I said I was ok?

I walked over to where she was and knelt in front of her. "Mom, I'm ok. There's nothing wrong with me. Hell, even my grades are better."

She frowned. "But there's also the thing with Lord Ivashkov."

"Adrian? What does he have to do with anything?"

She looked at me with a disbelieving look. "You've been around him too much, Rose. There are rumors that you and him are lovers."

I was stunned. That couldn't be true. There was nothing romantic between us even if I'd spent the last couple of days with him every time I could.

When I didn't speak she went on. "So it's true? You and him are lovers?"

I stood up and took steps away from her. "Of course not!" She arched an eyebrow. "Adrian is just a friend, I swear."

"You have other friends. Princess Dragomir is worried about you" Great, everyone was worried.

I rolled my eyes and laughed bitterly. "She asked you to come now that we're not talking. Very original."

Mom shook her head. "No, it wasn't her. It was guardian Belikov." I froze. "He wanted me to talk to you because he thinks you're not ready to start training yet. I told him you were and he asked me to come and make sure." Her voice went all businesslike. "I don't want something as simple as a school crush on Lord Ivashkov to stop you from graduating and becoming a guardian."

In other circumstances I would have gone off on her about how stupid that would be and not to come to conclusions before talking to me first, but I was too busy processing what she'd said about Dimitri. He'd told her that he thought I wasn't ready to train yet, but I knew the truth. He knew perfectly fine that I was more than ready to start training again but he was coming up with an excuse not to see me. That hurt me a lot. Still, I wasn't anyone to judge him for avoiding me after what I told him.

He didn't want me anymore…

"Rose? Are you listening to me?" Janine sounded annoyed.

"Yes, I am. And not, there is absolutely nothing going on between Adrian and me. Like I said, we're just friends. Don't worry and tell Di—guardian Belikov, that I'll be up tomorrow for out training session." She seemed somewhat pleased.

She stood up and walked up to me, hugged me and stepped away. "I'll pass on the message. See you tomorrow, Rose."

After she left I went back to my bed and stared up at the ceiling. "He doesn't want me anymore." I whispered and a tear ran down my cheek.

**Sorry it took me so long to update. Please leave reviews, otherwise I'll cancel it. **


	8. Author's Note

I have good news for all of you who love this story and have been waiting for nearly a year to read more of this story. Unfortunately, I am unable to keep writing this story since I have lots of things to do at school. I'm attending an Early college and have lots of homework. Anyhow, Talkygirl was kind enough to volunteer to take on the story. From now on she'll write the story so go look for it on her wall.

Thanks, and, once again, I'm very sorry for not being able to keep writing it.


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